Hutson & Houck
Dating makes everyone nervous, regardless of their confidence level. Dating jitters are natural when you’re wondering if someone likes you. On the other hand, there’s something sexy about having confidence in your love life.
According to some studies, confidence is actually more important than good looks when it comes to attracting potential romantic partners. People who smile and make eye contact are thought to be more approachable.
Manage Your Dating Doubts:
- Let go of expectations. Relationships require patience and flexibility. Stop dreaming about finding your soul mate and quit dismissing anyone who doesn’t completely match your detailed checklist. Your “soulmate” might be right under your nose.
- Accept your flaws and fears. Stop trying to resist or deny your flaws and fears. You are wasting your energy and these habits only build walls and push people further away. Instead, lovingly acknowledge and accept yourself exactly how you are. Loving ourselves first, makes it easier for others to love us. Celebrate your strengths and know that you are worthy just as you are. When you feel special, you have more to contribute to your relationships.
- Change your focus. Your date, or everyone else on your dating app is probably pretty nervous too. If you work at putting others at ease, you will naturally relax too.
- Be positive. Look at all that you have to gain. Even if you’re not romantically compatible, you might share a laugh and gain a friend … or at least a good story. Be grateful for the momentary companionship, and don’t worry about the future. Take your time to enjoy the now.
- Keep busy. Don’t over analyze your date. Stop looking for excuses to reject others or to reject yourself. Take a deep breath. Shift your attention to something more constructive like finishing that book, or watching a new movie. Focus on things to keep your mind and body positive. Enjoy a little “me” time.
Fake it until you make it.
- Smile. Whatever doubts you are having, a smile hides your worries and makes you more approachable. It also helps to lower your stress … so be sure to flash your pearly whites.
- Be comfortable. Wear something you feel confident in. Throw on your favorite jeans or jacket. Don’t skip comfortable undergarments for something fancy. Comfort is a key to confidence and helps keep your mind off your appearance.
- Adjust your posture. Your body language speaks volumes before you even say a word. Be conscious of keeping your back straight and your shoulders down, avoid the “hunch”. Not only will you look slimmer, but you will appear to be more engaged and energetic.
- Make eye contact. Force yourself to make eye contact. Let your date see that you are in fact interested in them. Meet their gaze from across the room or the table. Your eyes help to express your warmth and sincerity.
- Don’t forget the handshake. The power of touch is on your side. Reach out and shake hands upon meeting someone new. Give the spark a chance from your very first greeting.
- Be prepared. Be conscious of asking open ended questions and be ready to keep the conversation flowing if needed. Keep in mind a few intriguing questions you want to ask. Be prepared not only to ask questions, but to answer them. Take note of popular small talk topics like movies, news, or popular culture beforehand so you feel more at ease.
- Choose the activity. While still taking your date into consideration, politely suggest a venue where you will feel most comfortable or at home. If you’re lucky, they’ll feel right at home too, and it will give you more topics of conversation.
- Practice. The more you date with confidence, the more confident you’ll be. With each date you’ll increase your ability to meet other singles and make a positive impression. This also gives you time to be clear about your short list for what you really need in a romantic partner.
Take risks and learn from each dating experience. When you relax , you will radiate confidence. When you relax, you and your date can both have fun while you look for love.