Ever take a look around and wonder why you don’t have the same things others have?  Your best friend has a great career.  Your brother’s family keeps growing.  

The coworker you admire just received a promotion and rightfully so.  That micro-influencer you follow just posted pics of another vacation to the islands.  It seems like everyone around you is living these amazing lives and you sit around craving better days.

Feeling stuck in the same position year after year is downright depressing and frustrating.  

You know that being envious isn’t the answer yet you can’t help but wonder why things don’t seem to go the way you had envisioned.  Well, believe it or not, such desires didn’t just fall right into others’ laps.  

Hard work is what gets people to the next level.  But who says you don’t work just as hard as all those others?  If you know you apply yourself, what else could be missing from making your life even better than what it already is?  

People tend to think that reaching one’s destiny is left up to the universe when in reality you’re in control of your life! 

We have compiled a few key points to help you create the life you want over time.

And we saved the most important tool for last because you will not believe how simple it is!

• CREATE A DREAM BOARD:  Sometimes our dreams are scattered around our creative minds.  It’s great to have visions for your future, so it helps to not only organize those ideas but see them before you live them.  This is also an opportunity to step away from the virtual world and concentrate on good old paper and paste!  

Yep, we’re going old-school here; don’t fight it!  Having a physical representation of your future in view daily will be a constant reminder for you and keep you motivated to go after what you want!  So head to your local crafts store, grab a BIG piece of poster board along with some school glue and a pair of scissors.  Next, find pictures that represent your dreams, cut them out or print them, then stick them to the poster board.  Once you finish creating your board, place it somewhere you will see it every day, which is the whole point of making one in the first place.  This whole idea might seem juvenile as an adult, but truth be told it works.  Once you live out one of the dreams from your board, replace it with the next idea!

• EVALUATE YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE:  This next concept might be difficult to accept, but will benefit you in the long run.  Amy Morin, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker advises that our friends “have a major influence on how we think, act, and behave”.  

What personality types are you surrounding yourself with?  Now we’re not talking about those fairweather followers on your Instagram. No, this goes deeper.  Open up your contacts list and take a look at who you associate with consistently.  Who are those that are closest to you?  What do they have going on in their lives?  More importantly, what do they bring to your relationship or friendship?  

Do your friends have pessimistic or optimistic outlooks on life?

If your friends or relatives aren’t encouraging you to do the things you want to do (within reason), then it’s time to find the people who will!

Successful individuals surround themselves with other successful people.  Confident and successful people attract others of the same nature.  You don’t have to abandon your current circle of friends, but you may wish to begin spending more time with those people who have obtained the same things you want out of life instead of admiring them from afar.

• GET OUT!:  Zoom calls can only take you so far.  Yes, virtual communication is safe and warranted during the pandemic.  So when it is deemed safe in your area to head out to the public, you should take advantage and venture to places where successful people gather.  It’s so refreshing to surround yourself with like-minded people who share the same interests as yourself.  Can’t figure out where you should go?  

Think about where you want your life to take you.  Have you been wanting to start those dance classes?  Sign up!  Join that seminar you’ve been reading about.  Attend local worship services that have activities for different age groups. Book the singles’ cruise and who knows?  Maybe you will find love on the seas!  

Finding “your people” and immersing yourself in that community will catapult you into your destiny!

• GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE:  Just like everything else in life, shifting into your destiny will take time.  If one avenue appears to be a dead end, seek other outlets.  Never let others discourage your beliefs.  

If you want that dream career, who is anyone else to stop you?  

Make yourself a promise never to listen to another’s pessimistic views of your goals.  You were given interests and ideas for yourself for a reason.  We all need support from each other, but sometimes the people you seek support from can’t understand your vision.  That doesn’t mean your ideas are insignificant; it just means you can envision something that others could never see for themselves, which is unfortunate for them. 

• *SPEAK YOUR DREAMS*:  All right, are you ready?  Here’s the secret weapon to creating the life that you want.  This is the catalyst for improving your current situation that most people either overlook or aren’t aware of.  If you want to manifest desires, you have to speak things into existence.  Bet right now you’re saying to yourself, 

“Wait, what?”  But watch your words!  Your life will go in the direction of your thoughts and the words you speak are your thoughts verbalized.  So what are you thinking about yourself?  Instead of verbalizing a defeatist attitude like, 

“I’ll never amount to much.  This will never happen for me”, the right thing to say is, 

“Okay this will be a challenge, but I’m up for it!  I can do this and I will!” 

Be mindful of the words you speak about yourself and over your life because words are powerful!  Why do you think out of all living beings, humans are the only ones who were given the power of speech?  (Okay, parrots don’t count! LOL)  

But seriously, our words have creative abilities.  Think about how meaningful your favorite song lyrics are to you.  Sure the music plays a vital role in how it makes you feel, but the words motivate you just as much!  Perfect example: “I Want It All” by Queen.

You can’t listen to that song and not feel like you’re about to conquer your world!  

This key point of speaking positive words over your current situation might seem too simplistic, however, this is the most important.  

We fight the battlefield of our minds with the power of words.  

Dr. Creflo Dollar, former education therapist and graduate of Oral Roberts University teaches that speech interrupts thought.  Any time a negative thought creeps into your mind, cast it down with your positive affirmations by saying them out loud! 

If you’ve been listening to the negative things those pessimists who entered your life have said about you for even one minute, you’ve been listening too long!  

Accepting discouragement is giving said pessimists too much power.  Now is the time to take your life back and use your words to live the life that has been waiting for you this whole time!

By:  Dana Nuzzo